Wait, I'm on Cruise Control?

I was looking for something more in keeping with the holiday season, but I came across this in Cracked, and I just had to share it with you guys:

"What are the chances that this poor woman winds up on a vehicle that gets hijacked by a crazy terrorist played by an actor too good for the role twice in her life? Really, if your trip gets interrupted by a guy with a bomb as second time, the problem isn't terrorism. It's you.

Jason Patric plays Annie's useless cop boyfriend, a role that was clearly written for Keanu Reeves and thus probably contained directions to react to every situation with an expression of dull confusion.

Of course, the most glaring problem is that the movie is called Speed and yet takes place on a cruise ship, the slowest form of transportation ever devised by man. Will Speed 3 be about a bomb on a hot-air balloon? A donkey? A Segway scooter? It almost seems like they came up with the clever 'Cruise Control' pun in the title, and wrote the movie around it."

Holiday cheer can wait. Commentary on a movie this ridiculous can't.

Photo Credits:
Picture of Speed 2 comes courtesy of Internet Movie Poster Awards Gallery.