Stupid Bok?

Given my last entry, it should have been easy to summarily pass judgment on Augusto Syjuco's free textbook "Mag Tek-bok Ka Bok". After all, noted educator and crusader Antonio Calipjo Go, to quote from his entry in Iloilo Views condemned Syjuco's book as "completely dedicated to the practice of narcissism and toadyism", a distasteful and dishonest book that "wastes your time" as well as "dirties and defiles your soul".

Strong words indeed. In the interests of determining the truth, an activity of the soul very much in fashion nowadays, why not decide for yourself? Click here.

Photo Credits:
Picture comes courtesy of e-Tesda Portal.

Crimes Against Humanity: Stupid Books

Every once in a while, I come across an article, or an idea for an article, that I wish that I had thought of first. Just as infrequently, I sometimes come across an article that reflects a refreshing amount of candor or courage that I would normally take a pass on. At any rate, the following article (which was first printed in Luke McKinney's blog, then reprinted in Cracked, is one of those rarities: an article that I wish I had thought of first, but would probably not have written in the way that it eventually turned out.

The premise?

The printing press has been hailed as the most important invention in history, allowing smarter people to share their ideas with other less smart people. Unfortunately one of the ideas they shared was "printing presses" and since then the device has been abused to wreak such horrors as to make nuclear power look like an innocent and harmless kitten-based technology. In this series I'll be looking at books so hideously opposed to the idea of knowledge that every time one is sold, a scientist loses his lab coat.

The book?

"Winning Lotto/Lottery for Everyday players, 3rd edition" by Professor Jones

The scathing commentary? (And yes, this is the fun, not for kids under the age of 13 part.)

The use of "everyday players" conjures the absurd vision that lives in the minds of the target market, that they are mere regular players while a secret cabal of professionals keep scooping all the jackpots. Why, if only they had access to some kind of inside knowledge they could make it too!

and

3rd. Goddamn. Edition. I have no idea what possible refinements to lotto-winning technology the author could be adding each time, short of scribbling "hahaha, oh god this is working I can't believe it's working" all over the proof copy before sending it back to the printers. A third edition of anything hasn't damaged my faith in humanity so much since the Daily Mail ran their "Princess Diana - still dead" memorial in 2000.

and

If you can get past the title, the back-cover blurb is an even richer treasure trove of anti-logic weaponry designed purely to annoy anybody capable of thought, though we may be able to use them to confuse the machines once they take over. Professor Jones proudly claims to have designed dozens of lotto-predicting programs, another sanity-shattering "the very fact I can make twenty proves they're all crap" claim, before promising to reveal the secrets of interpreting your dreams for winning lotto numbers. I hate to break it to you but if the best your conscious mind can come up with is "buy a book about how to win the lotto written by someone who has not done so", then your unconscious is unlikely to be some unharnessed money making probability superpredictor.

The odd moment of clarity and insight?

This book is simply cruel. Buying a lotto ticket may be a tax on people who don't understand statistics, but it still provides that momentary hope, the few seconds of dreaming and a pleasant image. This book specifically harnesses and murders those hopes, telling the reader that playing the lotto is actually a valid financial strategy and something that can be worked at rather than the moments harmless escapism it is. When you're taking the money while killing the dreams of those left with nothing to hope for but winning the lottery, you have officially reached the rank of King Bastard.

Photo Credits:

Picture of Winning Lotto/Lottery for Everyday players, 3rd edition" by Professor Jones comes courtesy of Amazon.

Surprise!

The best thing, perhaps, about my prolonged absence from blogging is that I'm free to enjoy surprises.

The first, and to my mind, the most wonderful surprise I've read of in the blogs I regularly follow, is that Brian Belen and Vina Arenal are now engaged. Congratulations! In honor of this wonderful attempt to genetically engineer uber-nerds within the sacrament of matrimony, please refer to Vina's picture above left. Brian, I salute you!

Second, Jason de Villa has once again unearthed freeware that will make my online reading adventures even more fulfilling. If you have long been frustrated by the inability to mark or annotate PDF files in any way, shape or form, you must get Skim.

I love being surprised!

"Back"

It's been a while, but life just kept getting in the way of the vanity that normally fuels many of the entries I post on this blog. Still, it's good to be back, at least in that crazy, dissociative way that allows people to be "absent" from an online community and just as easily announce a renewed "presence" sometime after, without skipping a beat. It reminds me of how an entire relationship can be summarized by one's online profile: the heartbreaking clarity of transitioning from "in a relationship" to "it's complicated".

Still, I'm "back", for lack of a better term, and hopefully we can start having fun again in this blog. I just have to drop by the gym. The problem with spending one's birthday in Kuala Lumpur is one normally leaves Malaysia with a good sized lump where your abdominal muscles used to be. Till then!

And yes, Ate Cecile, the picture of Manuel has nothing to do with the entry. Just wanted to put some eye candy for my friends.

Acquired Tastes: The Onion Dispatch

When I was still a bachelor, and living with, at times, six to seven fellow bachelors in a tiny two-bedroom apartment in San Antonio Village, Pasig, the other tenants in the apartment complex we lived in referred to our unit, in honor of the second installment of the popular reality tv show Survivor, as the "San Antonio Outback". At that time, none of us took offense with the nomenclature because we did pride ourselves on the rugged, wilderness feel of our very manly apartment.

Flash forward seven years, and we have The Onion producing articles such as this:

Word 'Immunity' Used Outside Of Reality Show For First Time In Five Years

The article reads:

INDIANAPOLIS—Dr. Thomas Draker's announcement Monday that his patient Sarah Ross, 32, had successfully built up an immunity to bee stings was the first instance in five years that the word "immunity" has been uttered outside the realm of reality television. According to official records, since 2002's use of the word during an eighth-grade civics class, the term has been used an estimated 13,546,873 times, solely by reality show viewers and contestants while discussing the possibility of being protected from elimination during an upcoming challenge. After being informed of her immunity to bee stings, Ross reportedly asked her doctor if that meant she could safely move on to next week's round of allergies.

Mildly entertaining snippet or harbinger of the apocalypse? All I know is that it made me chuckle. Enjoy!

Picture of Survivor: The Australian Outback comes courtesy of A Guide to Current DVD.